Boys Are Dumb
No Dumb Boys!
"Electric shocks? I love them! With you dozen a day. But after a while I wonder where's that love you promised me? How can you offer me love like that? My heart's burned. I'm exhausted, leave me alone.." - Björk (Possibly Maybe)
Basic guidelines on how not to be a dumb boy:*
Dumb boy example:
Why this is dumb
My ideal mate (sorry position not available right now) : What I look for. First of all, desperation is not attractive, and unless you are looking to hook a seriously dominant lifestyle woman, have a spine. Don't apologize for everything you say, don't whine and complain and beg for compliments by saying how ugly/stupid/inadequite you are. Don't try to buy me, on the first date anyway, I am an independant woman capable of supporting myself and that will make me get out of there very fast. You can pay for dinner sometimes, and I will pay sometimes. I'm not a femminist, but if you never let me pay I will feel that you feel I am not capable of supporting myself and be insulted. I'm tired of this now so I'm going to shut up.
*note: while primarily females don't tend to be like this, (they have a whole other world of rotten things to do) it can apply to them. these are based on my personal experiences over several years and only involves males. No, this is not all because of you, don't let your head swell too much, it is years and years of let down from significant others. I think girls have a whole other set of stupid mean things they do, generally speaking, there are exceptions to every rule.
I've been burned plenty of times, I'm sure we all have been. Maybe after reading this someone will be that much less insensitive or something. Who knows.
I'm not a traditional girly-girl, but I'm still female and quite feminine, and I notice little things, and they mean a lot to me. I don't expect flowers every time he's late, but an apology (or even a call!) for severely fucking up plans might be nice sometimes.
Honesty is number one. Lying will fuck you over, she/he'll find out the truth eventually when you slip up or someone else rats on you, so you might as well just come clean to start with. Trust me, your conscience will thank me. Some people just can't handle commitment.. if that's the case talk to your sig other about it, maybe he/she will be ok with occasional sex only flings.
Chicks dig flowers. There's just no excuse to be together 6 months with a girl and never have bought her flowers. You had to have done something to piss her off by then and if not, it's just nice for no reason. No excuses... you can buy a lovely bouquet of them at any grocery store for $3 or even a single rose for about that. There's the argument that flowers are wasteful because you kill them. Still no excuse, buy her a potted flowering plant! It's also romantic to show up with a long stemmed single flower for a boy too.
You don't need to let your sig other know where you are 24/7, but if you know you'll be totally busy or out of reach for a week or so, at least say that you'll be unreachable. Especially if you had prior plans. (this seems to be a really tough one)
Let her know you care about her, love, like, lust, whatever it is, say so. Make her feel wanted and needed. Tell her how much you wish she was in your arms right now, or how glad you are that she is.
Don't even say you'll call if you won't, at least say you might call.
Call or e mail. If you actually are into someone, show it for christ's sake! Even a little e mail saying "Hi, miss you" is better then nothing for weeks on end.
If you can't handle commitments admit it, lots of people are into open relationships, as long as it's done honestly and the sex is safe it shouldn't be a big deal.
Don't go on endlessly how hot and big breasted that girl over there is. Hello??? Am I chopped liver? It's ok to point out the physical beauty of another being, but don't go on endlessly and please get your tongue off the floor. Complimenting your date/significant other/etc once in a while is pretty darn nice too. If you want to be with her/him then PROVE IT! If not, stop wasting everyone's time involved.
If a girl sees a guy working the room at a bar/club, forget it. If she notices him watching her specificially all night or for a long time, she'll feel he's attracted to her and not just what's between her legs. This doesn't mean a sure thing either, sometimes she is just not interested.
Don't molest your girlfriend's underaged sister. That is very disgusting and will always get you a dumb boy award and/or jailtime. (I have no sisters this one's not about me)
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